5 Ways to Conquer Being Single During the Holidays

Being single during the holidays can be a time of inconsolable solitude particularly when the cold weather kindles the need for companionship, cuddling and comfort.  Throughout the four month holiday season celebrating Thanksgiving, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day, many singles toil with great despair during this time of year. Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived underscores the need for companionship in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12:

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 
If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls 
and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. 
But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, 
two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

So how can singles transcend the depths of loneliness during the holidays? Here are 5 ways to conquer being single and restless during this holiday season and into 2012:

5.       “Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4). David wrote this passage as a testimony to God’s manifestation in His life.  Singles, use this time to strengthen your relationship with God and deepen your intimacy with Him by regularly reading your Bible and spending quiet time with Him before starting your day or before going to bed.  Participate in church and community related activities.  The more time you spend with God and fellowshipping with other Christians, the less time you spend wallowing in your singleness; thereby allowing God to direct you to His desires for your life. God knows, you may find your other half at one of these functions!
 
 
4.       “Ask, Seek, Knock” (Luke 11:9-10).
King David prayed for deliverance from his enemies. Hannah, who was barren, prayed unceasingly for the child she eventually birthed named Samuel. Jesus prayed for strength to do God’s will. The Apostle Paul prayed through bondage. All the above (among others) demonstrated the value of relentlessly petitioning to God through prayer their wants, needs, and desires.  In Luke 11:9, Jesus tells us: “ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”  Furthermore, “for everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”   Singles,  be empowered by the scriptures and go boldly before the Lord in continual prayer asking God to give you the strength to endure the holiday season free from anxiety, sadness and depression.  Pray continually for God to reveal His plan for your life and await patiently for His response.  Prayer is our lifeline to God, so use it frequently and judiciously.  
 
 
3.       Give Thanks (Ephesians 5:20).
“Giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”  The concept of giving thanks in all things is challenging, especially when you’re undergoing times of hardship.  But if you dig deep you’ll be amazed at all the things that you can thank God for, including his decision to keep you single during the holidays.
 
 
2.       Stay Faithful (Matthew 17:20). 
We have all read about the miracles that Jesus performed as recorded throughout the Gospels in which He raised the dead, healed the sick, restored sight to the blind and exorcised demons.  In most accountings (if not all), Jesus indicated that He was led to help those because of their faith or belief in Him.   Conversely, it was also the lack of faith in Him that caused Peter to stumble, kept the Disciples from casting out demons and prevented the Pharisees from believing Jesus to be the Messiah.  Jesus tells us of the power of faith in Matthew 17:20 in which He says: “…I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you.” Singles don’t let your lack of faith in God block your blessings. Allow your faith in Him to direct you to the helpmate He has designed especially for you. “…Though it lingers, wait for it; it will certainly come.” (Habakkuk 2:3)
               
1.       Spread Love (John 13: 34-35). 
Jesus commanded that we, “love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  Jesus illustrated this by courageously surrendering His life for us.  It is easy to allow our own travails like job loss, death of a beloved one, divorce, break up, etc. hamper our ability to love others. While the holidays may be a reminder that you are single, you are certainly not alone and unloved.  Let the love of God through Christ Jesus give you the power to spread love throughout the holidays and beyond.  Singles, take time this holiday season to uplift the spirits of someone else such as the bereaved, victims of domestic abuse, at-risk youth, the homesless an orphaned child or someone less fortunate than you.  Love is like a boomerang and you will be amazed at how it will return back to you.

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13

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Tralonne R. Shorter is the author and creator of Dearly B. Loved, a blog devoted to redefining the social dialogue on healthy, loving relationships. She is also the owner of Beloved Community, LLC a social political networking firm.